Tim O'brien, The things they carried

It was a moral split.  I couldn't make up my mind.  I feared the war, yes, but I also feared exile. I was afraid of walking away from my own life, my friends and my family, my whole history, everything that mattered to me.  I feared losing the respect of my parents.  I feared the law.  I feared ridicule and censure.  My hometown was a conservative little spot on the prairie, a place where tradition counted, and it was easy to imagine people sitting around a table down at the old Gobbler Cafe' on Main street, coffee cups poised, the conversation slowly zeroing in on the young O'Brien kid, how the damned sissy had taken off for Canada.  At night, when I couldn't sleep, i'd be screaming at them, telling them how much I detested their blind thoughtless automatic acquiescence to it all, their simpleminded patriotism, their prideful ignorance, their love-it-or-leave-it platitudes, how they were sending me off to a fight a war they didn't understand and didn't want to understand.  I held them responsible. (page 42-43) Book The Things They Carried By Tim O'Brien.


All three of these stories have this same type of situation going on, besides the Vietnam War there is a battle raging on in the young men's minds, hearts, and soul.  In all the stories none of the young men wanted to die, they all felt psychologically and emotionally sick.  They all try to be tough and not cry or look scared, but they all are.  They all fear being embarrassed, ashamed, blushing, or hearing the scoffers calling them names like sissy or pussy. The true reality of losing their life in a split second is always on their mind first and foremost.


In the mind it is a battle between good and evil, right and wrong.  The norm of what's wrong does not stand true in war.  For instance killing is wrong, but when it comes down to kill or be killed it's not wrong any more.  We try to raise our children to have a sense of right and wrong, but when they go off to war it all changes and it's like they've just entered the twilight zone.


It affects their heart, not just physically by beating faster because of fear, but when they see one of their guys die  right in front of them it is a heart break, a terrible gut wrenching heartbreak.  They want to just scream out and cry at the top of their lungs, but the fear of being called names is so strong.  They hold all their emotions in as best they can tolerate, but  some still cry in silence.  Then as soon as the chaos is over they all have to regain their composure and find the nerve to keep humping it and go on.


It even goes as far as to bother ones soul.  The traumatic impact and stress this puts on these young men alter their lives forever.  They will never be the same young men they were before they went off to war.  This awful scar will impact them off and on for the rest of their lives.  I wish with all my heart that war would never have to exist.  That we could all live peaceably, but if this were true we would all live at Walgreens, (the perfect world).  By Dorothy Kee

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Works cited; Tim O'Brien, The things they carried, book