Tim O'brien, The things they carried

It was a moral split.  I couldn't make up my mind.  I feared the war, yes, but I also feared exile. I was afraid of walking away from my own life, my friends and my family, my whole history, everything that mattered to me.  I feared losing the respect of my parents.  I feared the law.  I feared ridicule and censure.  My hometown was a conservative little spot on the prairie, a place where tradition counted, and it was easy to imagine people sitting around a table down at the old Gobbler Cafe' on Main street, coffee cups poised, the conversation slowly zeroing in on the young O'Brien kid, how the damned sissy had taken off for Canada.  At night, when I couldn't sleep, i'd be screaming at them, telling them how much I detested their blind thoughtless automatic acquiescence to it all, their simpleminded patriotism, their prideful ignorance, their love-it-or-leave-it platitudes, how they were sending me off to a fight a war they didn't understand and didn't want to understand.  I held them responsible. (page 42-43) Book The Things They Carried By Tim O'Brien.


All three of these stories have this same type of situation going on, besides the Vietnam War there is a battle raging on in the young men's minds, hearts, and soul.  In all the stories none of the young men wanted to die, they all felt psychologically and emotionally sick.  They all try to be tough and not cry or look scared, but they all are.  They all fear being embarrassed, ashamed, blushing, or hearing the scoffers calling them names like sissy or pussy. The true reality of losing their life in a split second is always on their mind first and foremost.


In the mind it is a battle between good and evil, right and wrong.  The norm of what's wrong does not stand true in war.  For instance killing is wrong, but when it comes down to kill or be killed it's not wrong any more.  We try to raise our children to have a sense of right and wrong, but when they go off to war it all changes and it's like they've just entered the twilight zone.


It affects their heart, not just physically by beating faster because of fear, but when they see one of their guys die  right in front of them it is a heart break, a terrible gut wrenching heartbreak.  They want to just scream out and cry at the top of their lungs, but the fear of being called names is so strong.  They hold all their emotions in as best they can tolerate, but  some still cry in silence.  Then as soon as the chaos is over they all have to regain their composure and find the nerve to keep humping it and go on.


It even goes as far as to bother ones soul.  The traumatic impact and stress this puts on these young men alter their lives forever.  They will never be the same young men they were before they went off to war.  This awful scar will impact them off and on for the rest of their lives.  I wish with all my heart that war would never have to exist.  That we could all live peaceably, but if this were true we would all live at Walgreens, (the perfect world).  By Dorothy Kee

www.illyria.com/tobhp.html 


Works cited; Tim O'Brien, The things they carried, book

My response to two poems

http://www.paperbackswap.com/Innocent-Victims-Brian-J-Karem/book/0786012730/The two poems I chose were, The Victims by Sharon Olds and The Colonel by Carolyn Forche'.  These 2 poems impacted me greatly and brought back memories long since forgotten.  I remember when I was about 11 years old I was curious, as many children are, about what could be in the high cupboards above my parents closet in their bedroom.  So I climbed up there with the use of a chair.  In the highest one I opened it and in the far back corner was a little bag made of some kind of material and it had stuff in it.  I strained to reach it and got a hold of it.  I brought it down to see what was in it.  I opened it and poured the stuff out on my parents bed.  There were all kinds of buttons like off of military uniforms, bars with stripes on them, and insignia like pins.  At my age of 11 I really did not know what all this was, but it was cool to inspect it.  After a while my Mom came in the room and got angry with me, she asked me where I got the bag from.  I told her in the high cupboard over her and Dads closet.  She told me to put them all back in the bag an never speak of it.  I asked why?  She told me those were souvenirs my Father had collected off of dead people from WWII.  Oh, I said and quickly put them all back in the bag.  It gave me a chill to think I was touching something from dead people.  I never spoke of this to my Dad and soon forgot all about it.  Until I read this poem The Colonel when in "line 22 it read, "He spilled many human ears on the table."  This was a horrible reminder of what I opened many years ago.   It reminded me of the victims and people that were dead that this stuff belonged to.  I remember how gruesome it must have been and how scared it made me feel.

In the other poem, The Victims by Sharon Olds was another reminder to me of my childhood.  My father was overbearing and demanding to my mother and us kids.  He worked 12 hours a day 6 days a week and Mom stayed home with us kids.  When Dad was tired or drunk he took his anger out on his family or an inanimate object.  Thus we were all victims under his rule.  He had large meat cutter bear paw hands and when he put his forceful fist to a door or whatever it usually broke.  I remember one time locking myself in the bathroom and he pounded on the door for me to unlock it, but I didn't.  Soon, I saw his fist come right through the door.  I opened the door with sad scared eyes and I guess the door took all of his aggression.  He just yelled at me in his deep voice to go to my room for my punishment.  I was ever so glad the door took the hit for me and I just got sent to my room.  Now Mom was mad because he broke the bathroom door.  So now he simmered down and said he would fix it tomorrow.  There were many explosive episodes like this in my home, but it all ended when my parents divorced.  My father cheated on my Mother after 30 years of marriage and the marriage was over.  In the poem The Victims "lines 1-2 it says," she took it and took it in silence, all those years" this was a reminder of what my family went through.  When they divorced us kids were glad because now the arguing and fighting ceased.  In line 3-4 in The Victims poem it says," and he kids loved it." this was how I felt relieved and happy.   By Dorothy Kee

http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Freedom_of_the_press

Essay 2 writing assignment:: The Necessity to Speak

All of the poems that I was asked to read I notice they all have something in common.  Besides being poems they seem to all be from the perspective of a witness to the account of what is happening to the person in the poem.  I realize that Sam Hamill  says that poets can write from many different perspectives.  Like from the perspective of the victim, witness, or the perpetrator.  To me it seems like these poems are all from the angle of, someone who was there, a silent witness.  Much of Sam Hamill's poem speaks on both ends of the spectrum.  Sometimes from the victims stand point and sometimes from the perpetrators' stand point.


He does go on to say that he was a victim in his poem and how helpless he felt while being victimized.  He stated  that he was not found till the next day by the guards and how still today this bothers him.  It was so brutal what was done to him at 14 years old that he will never forget it.  I wish we lived in a perfect world and these things did not happen to people, but the world we live in is not perfect.  Yes, many times we turn our backs to the hard to perceive ugly truth about war, or rape, or murder, or child abuse.  I believe we do this so that we do not have to deal with it.  There are many things in life that are hard to deal with, but they must be dealt with.

Our society has become so desensitized to so many things that we just see a lot of things as a fact of life, when in reality we should be sensitive about it.  Not accept it as it is morally wrong and should not be tolerated.  Like teenage pregnancy and abortion, we all know that birth control pills and other contraceptives have been around for many years.  They are advertized on television, the radio, the internet.  We are not a caveman society we are an informed society.  We just choose to take the, "I did not know", way out.  This is pure ignorance on us as an educated people.  In high school now they have programs were the student is given a life like baby to take home.  This baby doll cries like a baby unexpectedly and can not always be appeased.  This gives a young person just a glimpse of what it would be like to have a baby to care for.  Believe me it is not all roses raising a family is hard work and never stops even when your children grow up.


Speech is a very important part of our society today.  The freedom of speech that we have in the United States should not be taken for granted, though we do.  There are many other countries that people can not speak freely in for fear of death even if they do.  I am blessed to be living in the United States that still allows freedom of speech.


By Dorothy Kee